The NL Teams, as if they were people you knew in high school

This is brilliant. A few excerpts:

Philadelphia Phillies: This kid likes a girl, and everyone has known it for a long time. He keeps saying that he'll ask her out. Once in awhile he comes really close but he never manages to do it. So he goes back to the drawing board and trys to come up with a talent to change things, but it never works and he still likes the girl but never gets to the point of asking her out.
...
Pittsburgh Pirates: This girl looks pretty attractive because she's young with good potential to fill out a C cup. But she's just too young and if you hook up with her, it won't necessarily end well. Jail bait, in otherwords.
...
San Diego Padres: The overachiever. They aren't really good at anything, they just barely snuck into your one AP class and they sleep through it. But they pass it, probably with a B, because the teacher curves the grades in your class.

He's not kind to the Reds though... Harsher to them than even the Devil Rays! -j
(Thanks to Baseball Think Factory for the link)