Table of Contents

Friday, April 07, 2006

Reds Humor Quote Watch

In a new feature, I'm going to start compiling a list of humorous quotes from the Reds players. Originally it was just going to be a list of Adam Dunn's quotes--he's quite possibly the funniest guy in sports. But every once in a while Junior will come up with a good one one too, so I thought I'd keep it open. Please feel free suggest entries -- old and new -- and I'll add them to the list. Please provide a link if possible. I read most of the game recaps, but I'm sure I'll miss some too, so I appreciate any help I can get. They have to make me chuckle to be featured though, so pick good ones. Quality over quantity is the goal here. :)

"Why don't they just pay him $150 million, tell him, 'Thanks for all you've done for us,' send him home and put him in the Hall of Fame right now. His big-league earned run average is 0.00, and I hear that's gone up since he pitched in the minors." - Adam Dunn on Cole Hamels after the rookie pitcher's big league debut. Hamels threw five shutout innings and struck out 7.

"I'm trying to wait to start hitting homers while he's out," Dunn said. "I don't want to get too far ahead of him." --Dunn, on his homer drought during Griffey Jr.'s time on the disabled list in April. (thanks to Red Hot Mama for the link)

"I've played this game for nearly 25 years and never learned how to break in a glove. That's why I use other people's. I stole Dunn's glove out of his locker and I took Larson's when he was on the DL and I said, 'I'll take this, you aren't going to use it.'? " --Ryan Freel. Asked about using his own glove for second base, he said, "I broke it in myself and I hate it. It stinks."

"I think it’s a great idea. It gets the fans into (the game) and gives us something to look at." --Adam Dunn, on the Reds new cheerleaders at GABP (thanks to Red Reporter for the link).

"Was there any doubt? You want sacrifice flies, you've got 'em." --Dunn, after being notified by Austin Kearns that he was tied with David Wright for the lead in sacrifice flies (2).

"These are thin mints. I put them in the freezer. My favorites. So good."
--Reds outfielder Adam Dunn, on the girl scout cookies he keeps in his locker (Dayton Daily News)

"They all count the same, whether they go one row in like Junior's or 500 feet." -Dunn, on his 470-foot shot that went between the smoke stacks and hit a car outside of GABP.

"Looks like we got a two-tool player. I haven'’t seen him run yet." - Dunn, on Bronson Arroyo after his winning debut as a Red. Arroyo pitched a good game and also hit a home run.

"He is a nerd, but a nice nerd. It'’s a good thing he was born to hit or he would have been the kid in grade school who gets his lunch money taken away from him every day." - Dunn, to a Pittsburgh writer on former teammate Sean Casey (thanks to redleg nation for the link)

"How are we gonna score? Eddie's not in there..." - Dunn, on Edwin Encarnacion, who had the day off in spring training. EdE hit 0.357/0.416/0.771/1.187 with 6 home runs in 70 AB's this spring.


  1. I've heard that Merker is funnier, but Dunn is a great guy.

  2. He may be, but I never see those quotes in the papers. Hal and Marc love the Dunn quotes, though, so I always am seeing those. :) -j

  3. This isn't really a submission; just a somewhat related quote for your amusement.

    Chris Welch on the broadcast the other day. His voice caught as he discussed Womack straying from first and inducing an unsuccessful pitch-out:

    And when you do that, you get into the head of the pitcher, you get into the head--*clears throat*--into the throat of the announcer--into the head of the pitcher...

    I was highly amused, but then, that's my kind of humor.

  4. Not exactly a quote, as there aren't any real genuine one-liners in here, but I just saw this rather funny interview with Adam Dunn from '04. Good stuff. -j